- You confuse students from your prestigious university with farm animals. (see Houston Baker)
- Your keen historian eye helps you to compare a student stripper party to a horrific racist murder. (see William Chafe)
- You publicly spread malicious racist-based slander about students from your school. (see Karla Holloway)
- Enabling prosecutorial misconduct and the character assassination of your own students are the capstone to your career. (see Peter Wood)
- You are a political activist, who was looking for chance to drive "a stake through the collective heart of the lacrosse team," because they just happened to be the "perfect offenders." And you have been working on a “forthcoming” book since the Clinton administration. (see Wahneema Lubiano)
- You flunk a student because you judged him to be guilty of some undetermined crime. (see Kim Curtis).
- You accuse your students who registered to vote as “secret racists” and charged that certain unnamed players on the lacrosse team committed “perjury.” (see Grant Farred)
- Grade retaliation is just another tool in your teaching toolkit. (see Claire Ashton-James)
- As the leader of a prestigious university, your interpretation of the American justice system and a corrupt criminal case brought against three of your students is that you "are eager for our students to be proved innocent.” (see Richard Brodhead letter, July 25, 2006)
- Your "professional journal" publishes your "irrelevant political screed" about a popular blogger, who had the audacity to politely point out your intellectual mistakes. (see Charles Piot)
- You quickly attack the character and integrity of 47 of your own students when they had the misfortune of being caught up in the worst case of prosecutorial misconduct in the history of the United States. (see the Duke Gang of 88/89).
- You have an alter ego, named “thugniggaintellectual,” that hates whitey and you are happy to sell out your own students to an unethical prosecutor. (see Mark Anthony Neal)
- Spending class time to verbally attack your students and ignoring the truth put you on the fast track to being promoted to dean. (see Sally Deutsch)
- You make a handsome living by taking every opportunity to privately slander an outstanding athletic team from your university to journalists. (see John Burness)
- Being called vain and arrogant gives you goosebumps and your hobby is editing your own Wikipedia biography. (see Orin Starn)
- Your concept of protecting your students is to throw them safely under the bus so the tires miss crushing their skulls. (see Cathy Davidson)
- You call yourself a "Tenured Radical," which grants you the right to ignore facts and make-up allegations against a college athletic team, like calling them “a semi-criminal youth gang.” (see Claire Potter)
- Fictional character Sister Mary Clarence is your best example of a leadership role model. (see Duke Dean of Students, Sue Wasiolek)
- You believe witchcraft can help change the world. (see Anne-Maria Makhulu)
- Facts are not something you need to worry about when bloviating on your blog about a serious criminal case. And when a colleague at your university says: "your commentary ... has been shown to be silly, and with no substantive rebuttal from you," you delete his comment and hundreds of others that have dared to criticize you. (see Anthony Gordon (A.G.) Rud Jr.)
- You are thinking of offering a course next year entitled "Contemporary Potbanging."
- You think rogue DA Mike Nifong caught a bad break and you'd like to hire him as a teaching assistant to help him get back on his feet.
- Putting a mathematical equation on a blackboard gives you the hives.
- The "scientific method" reminds you of a sexual position.
- The idea of apologizing for your unprofessional behavior and any of your misdeeds associated with the Duke lacrosse scandal makes you wet your pants.
KC Johnson: The Group of 88 Rehab Tour Continues
TJN: Duke Case — Flackademia