Wife wakes up her husband in a panic and says: Dear..Dear...Someone snuck in and stole our best towels!
Husband: They only stole our best towels?
Husband: You mean someone stole the towels we took from the Hilton?
Friday, January 30, 2004
Wife wakes up her husband in a panic and says: Dear..Dear...Someone snuck in and stole our best towels!
Thursday, January 29, 2004
We're suckers for a catchy headline and depressing predictions:
The Digital Death Rattle of the American Middle Class
Robert X. Cringely chimes in against overseas outsourcing.
NakedNews.com has been around for awhile, but not like this. WKBN in Youngstown, Ohio fired their busty news reader for getting naked and then getting outed on the Internet. Catherine Bosley, 28, was canned after she got naked at a wet t-shirt contest in Key West, Florida during vacation and the pictures got noticed on the web back at the home office. Again it's those sneaky digital cameras creepin' around biting people in the ass. Catherine, forget Youngstown who needs them, you can read the news in Johnsville, or maybe even Cleveland.
FoxNews reported on Jan. 23, 2004:
News Anchor Fired for Flashing --
It seems that 10 months or so ago, fair Catherine and her husband departed the bitter climes of winter Youngstown and went to the Florida outpost on vacation. The couple’s mood was celebratory--for two reasons. One, Catherine and her mate were observing the first anniversary of their union. Two, Catherine had just recovered from “a near-fatal lung disease similar to tuberculosis.” Or so sayeth she. And she had also had open-heart surgery.Update: The photos of Ms. Bosley participating in the Key West wet t-shirt contest that were circulating have mostly been removed. The owner of the photos, Gontran Durocher, aka Lenshead, has requested the Catherine Bosley photos be taken down because they are his, and he does not want anyone showing them since he claims he owns the copyright.
So the lass went to a bar and made a “spur-of-the-moment, silly irresponsible” decision to enter a wet T-shirt contest. That was bad enough. Worse, the contest degenerated (if, in fact, a wet T-shirt contest is elevated enough in the first place to be susceptible to degeneration) into an informal strip-tease competition. Fair Catherine partook of the challenge. She shook, she shimmied, she strutted. And she disrobed, that the shaking and shimmy and strutting might better reveal the assets beneath her garments...
2nd update: Photos of Ms. Bosley participating in the 'Girls Gone Wild' contest were posted at - [AwfulPlasticSurgury.com: Catherine Bosley]
3rd update: Ms. Bosley gives her side of what happened in Key West on her website, TheCatherineBosley.com - Embarrasing Moments:
One night around midnight we walk into a place where they're getting ready to have a wet T-shirt contest. Neither of us had ever even seen one and we were curious. The emcee was trying to recruit young women to take part and he was having a tough time. There weren't many people there. We looked at each other and started laughing, agreeing it would be a crazy and silly thing to do! Then, we decided what the heck, we've been through a lot, you only live once and we're so far from home we could do something wild.
I go backstage with the other girls. We're handed T-shirts and scissors with advice from a bouncer in this "dressing room" on how to cut the shirts. We're also given as much booze as we want. I didn't drink much there because I'd had a little to drink already that night and worried about mixing it with the medication I was still on for my lungs...
The rest of night my husband and I reflected on what happened. We agreed it was crazy and laughed about it. By the next morning-- the feeling turned to regret. So we dealt with it. We figured that was the end of it. Little did I know that night would come back to haunt me dearly nearly a year later...
Wednesday, January 28, 2004
Holy mother of pearl! The "C-U-1 Day" website and its money making opportunity makes giving blood sound like a better option if you need some scratch.
C-U-1-Day will pay you $25/hr to visit persons residing at any of New York’s Correctional Facilities.Update: This website was closed down in late 2004. It can be found in the internet archive.
The process is simple. All you have to do is register here on our website by filling out our form and submitting two photos.
Your photos and personal stats (weight, height, measurements and general interest) will then be put into our catalog to be distributed to prospective clients. When you are requested, you will be contacted by us and given the time and location of the visit. We will provide transportation to and from the facility.
All we ask is that you adhere to a general dress code requested by the client, i.e. sexy, casual, etc. which will be relayed to you at the time we contact you for your appointment.
[Advice] Although we ask you to be very pleasant and attentive, we strongly urge you to NOT reveal personal information about yourself. (i.e. telephone number, address and names of friends and acquaintances.
...More importantly, I am also old enough to remember the swill that Americans drank and were pleased to call "coffee" before Howard Schultz swept down out of his damp PNW redoubt and clusterbombed us with franchises. It tasted like soggy cardboard, it was served in chipped diner porcelain that itself generally tasted of soap, and most importantly, with a very few exceptions, it was all you could get anywhere. There simply was no alternative, let alone an entire alternative venue that also provided comfortable seating. At sixty or seventy-five cents, too, this "coffee" was no bargain - far better to my mind to pay twice that and get something consistently worth drinking...
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Yesterday we posted an item regarding Iraqi Baathist/guerilla and anti-semitic/anti-American web sites. Not surprisingly the site operators have taken steps to obscure their location and identity. Many thanks to the unknowngeek.com for scoping details regarding these sites:
The albasrah.net IP address is assigned to the RIPE Network Coordination Center in The Netherlands and from there it's handed off to Conexit Services in the small town of Lelystad, Netherlands. Conexit is your your basic off-the-shelf web hosting firm with six standard hosting plans. The operator of albasrah.net conceals their identity behind Conexit Services.
The freearabvoice.org site is a little trickier to pin down. The site could not be pinged, perhaps to deter Denial of Service (DOS) attacks. The domain is registered to Alfonsos Pagkas of Maroussi, Greece. Pagkas was kicked off ISP's in New Jersey and Utah last year according to this story.
The freearabvoice.org IP address now is handled by the company Webvisions Pte Ltd who does Asia-Pacific web hosting. The freearabvoice.org site looks like it is now hosted on a multi-domain server in Webvisions Singapore office. The same hosting service that Microsoft (Singapore) Pte Ltd uses.
Poor dude on NJ Craig's List had his mattress ripped-off but he stays cool as he scolds the crook(s):
To the asshole who robbed my apt of my mattress.links:
1. props for the job... its not easy moving a california king out of a brownstone... how did you do it?
2. i hope you are gonna put it to good use... no fat chicks, no asian chicks if you are white, no hipsters, no FOBS etc....
3. the karma police be after your ass bitch...
thanks again... i slept on a boxspring last night asshole
Keep Your Von Dutch Off My Bed [totc]
Wired News profiles Jonathan Caouette a self taught do-it-yourself movie maker. Caouette, now 31, just released the movie Tarnation, a hybrid documentary that premiered last week at the Sundance Film Festival. Tarnation may be the first feature-length film edited entirely on Apple's iMovie, and it cost $218.32 in videotape and materials.
Tarnation tells the harrowing story of Caouette's dysfunctional family. His mother was a fashion model and a victim of severe abuse who spent most of her adult life bouncing from one mental institution to the next.
Monday, January 26, 2004
Checked out the new Wonkette. Here's her take on Dennis Miller's new TV show:
Expect a "mock-free zone" around President Bush and "reasoned discourse" from Dennis Miller's new show tonight. But don't look for too many celebrities. Says Miller, "I don't care what Gary Coleman thinks about Afghanistan, which to me was the flaw of 'Politically Correct' [sic] towards the end." He's sooooooo right. Because who cares what some washed-up comic actor with no political background thinks about poli- . . . er. . .huh.Update: Wonkette is edited by Ana Marie Cox, who has her own separate site - Link
No, we do not begrudge Miller his shot at fame. If Paris Hilton can become a household name by being filmed performing oral sex on an lackadaisical ex-jock, why shouldn't Dennis?
Hall-of-fame NBA basketball star Julius Erving, aka Doctor J. (or should we say Dr. Love) has apparently been caught on video tape doing the naughty. Looks like the Doc's still got game as he hits a Kama Sutra-like contortion. The tape surfaced at the NY Post during his divorce trial.
Instant Replay: Dr. J Sex Tape [New York Post, Jan. 26, 2004]
Julius Erving [wikipedia.org]
Celebrity sex tape [wikipedia.org]
An Iraqi Guerrilla info web site from Iraqi Baathists/nationalists is up. Looks like it might be hosted in The Netherlands? It includes blow by blow lists of attacks (compiled by the Free Arab Voice) on US troops/Iraqi policemen (here is an example of January 15-17). Interesting to see how their propaganda is slanted, for example the capture of Saddam is described as follows:
...I seriously doubt that Americans would dare walk tall into that basement where Saddam was hiding out from the occupation. Surely some traitor(s) must have led them to it since they knew exactly where they were going. It is quite possible that they gassed the place before entering, though, which enabled them to take Saddam unconscious.
First, that was no basement, it was a hole...your Saddam was down a frig'n hole - got it!
(courtesy John Robb)
Sunday, January 25, 2004
P.U.A. is short for Pickup Artist. The NY Times profiles professional PUA's who are teaching men how to meet, attract and seduce women.
The principle PUA profiled by the NY Times is simply called Mystery and he trains men in the "Mystery Method". His workshops are run in bars, lounges and clubs. Men travel from around the world and spend $1000's to fly as wingmen with Mystery as he teaches them the art of seducing women. The NY Times article describes now Mystery went into a club on Sunset Strip in Hollywood and took actor Scott Baio's beautiful girlfriend away from him. "Tell me this is not an illusion," Mr. Baio said at one point, "and he's not actually stealing my girlfriend." Mystery walked away 10 minutes latter with the women's phone number. Of course Mystery has a web site and they make this claim:
Every person involved with this website has the ability to approach any woman in any situation, and have her fully attracted within minutes. We have the strongest understanding of female psychology and social dynamics in the world.
We demonstrate this in real life. This is neither theory nor generalized information. What you will learn if you choose to involve yourself in these programs is a direct understanding and game plan of how to attract any woman that you want, in any situation imaginable. This is direct instruction of exactly how to do it. The people instructing this will demonstrate it through real life situations.
RealSocialDynamics [Mystery's Web Site]
Interview with Mystery - Link
(provided as a public service announcement to all our A.F.C. - "Average Frustrated Chump" readers)
Saturday, January 24, 2004
The NY Times sends out a provocative warning about on a grim situation. The New York Times Magazine cover story tells a sad story of sex slavers holding "perhaps tens of thousands" of women, girls, and boys against their will in the United States. The story starts not very far from New York City with a vivid description of a police raid:
For tens of thousands of women and girls forced into prostitution around the world, the hell they're living is in the cities and towns of America-The article goes on to mention an undisclosed website that reportedly sells sex slaves.
The house at 1212 1/2 West Front Street in Plainfield, NJ is a conventional midcentury home with slate gray siding, white trim and Victorian lines...the police [raid] found a squalid, land-based equivalent of a 19th-century slave ship, with rancid, doorless bathrooms; bare, putrid mattresses, and a stash of penicillin, "morning after" pills and misoprostol, an antiulcer medication that can induce abortion. The girls were pale, exhausted and malnourished.
It turns out that 1212 1/2 West Front Street was one of what law-enforcement officials say are dozens of active stash houses and apartments in the New York metropolitan area - mirroring hundreds more in other major cities like Los Angeles, Atlanta and Chicago - where under-age girls and young women from dozens of countries are trafficked and held captive...
Update: Jack Shafer, at Slate.com, has come forward to challenge the veracity of this article by Peter Landesman. Many are left wondering if The New York Times has joined the ranks of the checkout tabloids like The National Enquirer.
Sex Slaves of West 43rd Street [slate.com, Jan. 26, 2005]
Doubting Landesman [slate.com, Jan. 27, 2005]
Update: The NY Times fires back and says that after an investigation the "Sex Slaves" story is "sound".
Times: Sex-slave story 'sound' [NY Daily News]
Assessing Landesman [Slate.com]
Peter Landesman: Badass of 43rd Street [Gawker.com, Jan. 30, 2005]
Photo of Landesman
Update 13-Feb-04: NY Times Magazine journalist Peter Landesman sold the film rights to this story to filmmaker Roland Emmerich.
Sex, Slaves and Videotape [FilmStew.com, Feb. 12, 2004]
Update 29-Feb-04: NY Times Ombudsman (The Public Editor) Daniel Okrent analyzes the Landesman story-"What Do You Know, and How Do You Know It?"
There is now a lengthy Editor's Note and Correction Appended at the end of the original article.
Lesbians are everywhere these days. Showtime's got the new series "The L Word". One of the Sundance Film Festivals more anticipated movies was D.E.B.S. an indie, lesbian version of Charlies Angels. Even lesbians watch bad lesbian movies like Play-Mate of the Apes.
Ran across Chris Cooper's autobiography, guess what caught our eye? Here are some highlights:
B.S. in Applied Physics, California Institute of Technology, Pasadena, California, 1975
M.S. in Electrical Engineering, University of California at Santa Barbara, Goleta, California, 1979
Nuclear Bomb Testing
Space Systems Engineer
** Illicit Drug Chemist ** The DEA busted him in 1982 and sent him to prison for 4 years.
Computer Programmer after release from prison
Technical Tools (founded and sold company)
Started Quote.com in 1993 and sold at the peak of the dot-com bubble, to Lycos in 1999
Cooper Ventures investment company since 2000
Friday, January 23, 2004
We checked out Moby's web site. He has a "moby journal," sort of like a blog, but the format sucks. Anyway his comment today:
so cbs won't air the winning moveon.org ad that criticizes president bush's irrisponsible fiscal policies.Sounds like Moby is not a happy camper. (See the flame war between him and Matt Drudge posted below). Hey Moby Man put your damn journal in a decent blog format. First, so that it's easier to read. Second, so we can link to it (or not) every time you have rant. Hello...
but they will be airing an ad produced by the white house.
and people on the right say that the media is too 'liberal'?
the depressing thing is that it's so unsurprising when the media shows its true right-wing colors.
it's also depressing to be reminded of the far-right's utter disregard for freedom of speech.
Nick Denton fires up a new gossip blog: Washington, DC has always been a mystery to me. So much power, and so little sex appeal. Hollywood for ugly people, as they say. But there's gossip, there just has to be. What DC lacks in sexiness, it makes up for in pomposity and hypocrisy. So, Wonkette, the latest blog in the Gawker stable. Wonkette is written by Ana Marie Cox, who used to write the notorious Suck column for Wired Digital, and now lives in the DC suburbs. She's funny.
Internet gossip Matt Drudge and techno tea-maker Moby are bitching each other out in print now; the fight started when Drudge Report printed Margaret Cho jokes "out of context," which netted her a slew of hate mail.Sounds like a tempest in a cracked tea pot?
We're so taking markers on the Moby vs. Drudge event. So far, it looks like the money is 3:2 in favor of Drudge. (Bet-placers cite that Drudge's cat-fighting nails are sharper, and that Moby is weak from vegetarianism and too much shitty techno.)
Drudge's response: "Moby and his friends just have to 'butch up.'" Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure if Cho got any butcher -- her favorite word is 'motherfucker' -- she'd be forced to watch The L Word for a week, Clockwork Orange-style.
DrudgeReport that started things [Drudge]
Cho-time for Moby Vs. Drudge [NYDN]
Vile Right-Wing Hate [Moby]
Right Attacks Margaret [Cho]
The recipe for Coca-Cola is one of the most closely guarded secrets in the world. Yet a small Canadian software firm has sold 150,000 cans of a rival fizzy cola, which tastes very like Coke, and has made the recipe public. The firm behind the drink, Opencola, makes software, not drinks. It used the drink (and its open recipe) as a metaphor for the most important trend in software today. Here's the open cola formula:
7X (Top Seekrut™) flavoring formula:The opencola.com site is down today, but here's a blog with the full recipe and instructions. (Courtesy Azeem). update: Wikipedia: OpenCola
3.50 ml orange oil
1.00 ml lemon oil
1.00 ml nutmeg oil
1.25 ml cassia oil
0.25 ml coriander oil
0.25 ml neroli oil
2.75 ml lime oil
0.25 ml lavender oil
10.0 g gum arabic
3.00 ml water
2.00 tsp. 7X formula
3.50 tsp. 75% phosphoric acid or citric acid
2.28 l water
2.36 kg plain granulated white table sugar
0.50 tsp. caffeine (optional)
30.0 ml caramel color
The Iowa Electronic Markets lets you place legal bets on the 2004 Democratic National Convention Presidential Nomination Winner. Kerry is currently surging way ahead. This Iowa Market says Kerry wins the nomination. This chart shows the price changes. (courtesy Doc Searls)
Cartoons can make you laugh, make you cry, these make you sick. The Middle East Media Research Center has collected some anti-American, anti-British and anti-semitic cartoons from Middle East (Arab) Media.
cartoons(.pdf) (courtesy John Robb)
Anti-American and Antisemitic Cartoons in Leading Egyptian Government Weekly Al-Ahram: 1998-2004 [report by memri.org, Apr. 2, 2004]
Anti-Semitic Cartoons in Qatar's Al-Watan [adl.org, Jun. 16, 2003]
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
It may be one of the coldest winters on record here in parts of North America, but it's high season for spotting whale tails Down Under: "A whale tail is the effect that happens when a girls G-string or Thong becomes exposed as she walks, bends over or squats." Thar she blows! One more good reason why we need to visit Australia.
Dave Winer reprints a letter from Joshua Whelan about the experience of living in Vermont. It helps us appreciate why people move to Vermont.
Vermont also has the lowest crime rate in the country. Florida's violent crime rate (1,147 per 100,000 population) is the highest in the nation and 14 times higher than that of the lowest state, Vermont (82 violent crimes per 100,000 population. [Source; FBI, Uniform Crime Reports]
Daily Kos deconstructs the Iowa caucus and has this telling vingette about how Dean's troops mishandled one caucus:
the Dean precinct captain on the floor was ineffective and diffident. I watched with amazement as a more-motivated, more-mature Edwards captain named Susan Voss (sans T-shirt, sans sideline coaches) went over to the Gephardt folks in Precinct 63, who at that point had only seven members but needed nine for viability. Susan sat down at their table, looked them in the eye, appealed to them about how Edwards is an "articulate, bright, caring person." You can tell not only that she meant it, but that she could personalize it. She didn't have any training, and it showed - it showed as authentic, that is.
Then, with grace and aplomb, she got up and said she would make room so a guy named Arturo, from the Kucinich group (also non-viable, and hoping to move Gephardt's people to them to achieve viability), could have his turn.
Meanwhile, the Deanies are sitting with their hands folded. They are not even talking to each other. No comity, no motivation. The precinct captain eventually comes over, unsure of what precisely to do with himself or how to speak to people. The Geppies are still sitting at the school library's tables at the far end of the room.
The Dean captain meanders over, stands over the Geppies, providing physical distance that is conveyed in a non-verbally and dismissive way. Worse, his main message is little more than, "C'mon, don't you want to join us?" or "Are there any questions or issues you have about the Governor?" The Geppies are literally staring at his navel, because it's hard to make eye contact with somebody whose head is three feet over your own with craning your neck.
There were six delegates to be assigned by the 60+ people who turned out at Precinct 63. Dean had 16 of the caucus-goers at the start, and ended up with 14. Kerry didn't budge much, but Edwards gained strength. Gephardt managed to cobble together the two defections from Kucinich he needed, and got one delegate, as did Dean and Kerry. But Edwards left with two, and he can thank the dynamism, assertiveness and tact of Susan Voss for that second delegate.
We like cartoons in Johnsville. Advertising copywriter (and Guardian cartoonist) Hugh MacLeod is staking out a unique niche. MacLeod's gapingvoid.com cartoons have caught on with bloggers who are buying his racy cartoons on the back of business cards for their sites.
The Shark Bar
Too Many Cats
Not sure if we could put most of these "cards" in our wallet.
update: Hugh MacLeod describes his "Brand Pyramid" for the gaping void:
• At the bottom, you have reading the stuff on gapingvoid for free.
• Then you have the affordable merch, let's say, blogcards, t-shirts, books etc.
• Then you have prints and drawings.
• Then at the top you have commissions and consulting.
Basically, all the layers inform and nourish each other...
brand pyramid [gapingvoid.com, Feb. 9, 2005]
This week's Carnival of the Capitalists has an article by Karsten Jung who explains why mere mortal investors who have not discovered a way to live forever should understand the differences between mean, modal and median.
For example: "If your feet are in the oven and your head is in the freezer, chances are that on average you'll feel pretty comfy." Right?
Several news services including Reuters & The Mirror are reporting:
British war leader Winston Churchill's foul-mouthed 104-year old parrot refused to surrender to newshounds Monday after a British newspaper tracked the bird down and discovered it was still alive.
"They've been trying to get him to talk all day, but he's not saying much," said Sylvia Martin, who manages Heathfield Nurseries where parrot Charlie has lived for the last 12 years.
Charlie, who kept Churchill company during World War II, was famous for occasionally squawking four-letter obscenities about Hitler. But Martin told Reuters the bird has mellowed...
update: The BBC is reporting - Experts have dismissed the claim that a 104-year-old foul-mouthed parrot once belonged to the wartime Prime Minister Winston Churchill.
Churchill's parrot gets the bird [BBC, Jan. 20, 2004]
Tuesday, January 20, 2004
Buffalo News has a nice story about some of the people writing blogs in Buffalo. We love Buffalo, we lived near Buffalo, but sorry, we are not going anywhere near Buffalo these days. However, it is nice to hear what the homies are doing.
Some of the Buffalo blogs mentioned:
BerlinBlog by Catherine Berlin, a lawyer who went to Eden H.S. (her blog is right down the street from us here at BlogSpot)
UnknownGeek.com by Andy Miller a UB computer engineering major.
OutsideCouncil by Bill Altreuter, a lawyer and partner at Altreuter Habermehl (also lives here on Blogspot and he choose the same model house [template] we have). Damn there goes the neighborhood! If a lawyer is using this format we'll have to change. [Note to self: start checking for a new blog skin. Also you need a better tag line. All the good blogs have a catchy tagline.]
Jason Calacanis reviews "Napoleon Dynamite" at the Sundance Film Festival:
The packed screening of about 100 high-level press people loved the film as well. Not one person left the screening (on average 3-5 do), they were laughing out loud repeatedly (some uncontrollably) before giving the film a hearty round of applause (a big deal in a press screening).
Napoleon Dynamite is a delusional high school nerd who lives in his own fantasy world in a small town in Idaho.
Monday, January 19, 2004
S-Train is doing something different this year: ...I'm not criticizing a fat person. I leaving them alone both mentally and physically. I'm not saying shit about their weight. Why? Because I used to beat the shit out of people and sell drugs regularly. Who am I to criticize their weight? If their weight is a problem heath-wise, they are adults and can work it out. But they don't need me thinking ill of them. Looking at them twice. Shaking them down is pointless...
The Sunday NY Times reports on this newly defined voter segment:
Celinda Lake is the name of the Democratic pollster and strategist who coined the term Nascar dad. Nascar dad is, apparently, the white, heterosexual embodiment of the swing voter in this next election, and a great deal of time and effort and money are being spent trying to hunt the poor guy down....
He wears khakis and cords and polo shirts, sleeveless T's and cutoffs and souvenir hats. He's bearded and clean shaven, short and long, fat and lean, drunk out of his mind and sober as a Stoic. He wears a mullet; no, he doesn't. He's neat as a Marine; he looks like the last man out of a mine collapse. Sometimes he throws Mardi Gras beads at your wife and yells at her to take off her blouse. Other mornings, the sun tipping the first brightness over the lip of the grandstands, throwing hard shadows, he kneels in a group with the other Nascar dads and prays. Race day is Sunday, after all...
Nascar Dad gets along well with Soccer Moms, Hockey Grandpa's, Wrestling Grandma's, and Karate Kids in Johnsville.
Sunday, January 18, 2004
The Illuminated Donkey writes about:
Uday and Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong Il, Nicu Ceausescu, and Slobodan Milosevic all love their Johnny Walker.
Saturday, January 17, 2004
.....I get onto the R train in New York.
And here comes a guy with a portable DVD player.
Now that was interesting just from a media-geek perspective: TV everywhere.
But then it got interesting from a sociological perspective.
The guy is playing hiphop videos on his DVD and the volume's high. We ride a few stops. I very slyly take the picture you see here with my phone. Then, at 14th Street, a woman -- older, same race, which is relevant to what's next -- comes over to the guy and scolds him: "You need to get headphones." He scowls and shouts, "F*** you."
She says, "It's rude and inconsiderate."
He says, "I don't f***ing care."
She says that's obvious.
He calls her a "fake n****" (which is a head-scratching epithet, if you think about it).
She stomps off. He keeps playing and then carries his DVD off at Canal Street...
Ask-An-Iman has Answer #9235 for this dilemma:
To eat or drink, after intercourse, before rinsing one’s mouth is Makrooh. However, if the mouth is rinsed, it will be permissible to eat or drink before taking a bath.
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
man breasts: n. Excess fatty tissue that causes a man's chest to resemble a woman's breasts. The Word Spy-Link
butt call: n. An unintended phone call placed by sitting on one's cell phone. The Word Spy-Link
Stendhal's syndrome: n. Dizziness, panic, paranoia, or madness caused by viewing certain artistic or historical artifacts or by trying to see too many such artifacts in too short a time. We're starting a support group here in Johnsville. The Word Spy-Link
An American Airlines pilot was arrested at Sao Paulo International Airport after making an obscene gesture while being photographed by Brazilian immigration officers, police said.
The pilot, identified as Dale Robin Hirsch, raised his middle finger at police to protest new Brazilian security measures that require U.S. citizens to be fingerprinted and photographed upon entering the South American country. Link
This happened a while ago; so maybe they've made it out of rehab. But, if you follow Shaggy and Scooby-Doo you have to love it. We just knew Shaggy was a pot head from the get go and Scooby-Doo fried his brain on something years ago. As was reported by the Post-Gazette about the Cartoon Network's series "Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law.":
Fred, Velma, and Daphne call on Harvey Birdman when Scooby and Shaggy are pulled over in the Mystery Machine, weaving down a spooky country road, laughing like doofs and charged with possession. Their music? They are blasting the opening riffs to the Doobie Brothers (get it) "China Grove". Link
Friday, January 16, 2004
A blog with a very different point of view: The S-Train Canvass: progressive thuggary that has no limits or boundaries...
883,000 members and growing: Black Voices.
Jason Calacanis blogs from the Sundance Film Festival. Link
You can now search Google for FedEx, UPS, and USPS tracking numbers; Vehichle ID numbers (VIN), US Patents, FAA airplane registration numbers, UPC codes, and telephone area codes. Link
What is the blogoshere? How does it compare to journalism?...
blogger : journalist :: tick : sheep
bloggers : journalists :: dung beetles : elephants
However, we note big trashy journalism is not above stealing from bloggers.
For example, the UK tabloid The Daily Star stole a story from RetroCrush entitled "The Worst Sex Scenes Ever: A Look At The Most Unsexy Sex Scenes", then passed it off as their own. It was picked up by at least 30 other media outlets and The Daily Star was credited with the story. When pressed on the issue, the News Editor was quoted as saying: Well, if it's on the internet it's up for grabs.
Thursday, January 15, 2004
Wednesday, January 14, 2004
The Smoking Gun reports Donald Trump donated a mere $287,000 to charity in 2002. Three years ago he gave $160,000. Millions less than your other average billionaire. He made no donations in 2001 to 9/11 related charities. Leona Helmsley, the so-called Queen of Mean, donated $5 million for the benefit of those same 9/11 NYPD and FDNY widows.
TSG also has a nice mug shot collection.
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
Instapundit (Glen Reynolds) posts about politics, war, music etc.
AfricaPundit talks about Delaware I-AA football and Zimbabwe.
BusinessPundit talks about a company that erases memories??
CalPundit follows the election and a Wesley Clark story.
Econopundit wonders if voters support Bush tax cut?
FuturePundit reports on UCLA's earthquake prediction.
GedankenPundit writes about academic inbreeding.
HappyFunPundit reports about Barbra Streisand suing NASA?
IsntaPundit is drunk and ranting.
Okiepundit reports on Jerry Falwell fundraising for Isreal.
PatioPundit tells us Canada is now allowed in on Iraq.
Quasipundit talks politics and life on the Potomac.
VodkaPundit talks politics, war, and mixed drinks.
WeekendPundit asks why no microphones on the Mars Rover?
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female......Any part under a car's hood.
Male..........The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female......Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male..........Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female........The open sharing of thoughts/feelings with one's partner.
Male..........Leaving a note before going on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.......A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...........Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female......A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male..........Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female......An Embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...........A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female......The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male..........Call it whatever you want just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.......A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male.............A device for scanning through 375 channels in 5 minutes.
Monday, January 12, 2004
Happy Birthday, Howard Stern is 50 years old today. Howard had it right twenty years ago when he knew lesbians would bring in the big ratings. Showtime's racy new series "The L Word" a gay "Friends" meets "Melrose Place" makes its deput next Sunday. Again the NY Times is hot on the trail with "Rounding Up the L Girls"
The Sunday NY Times is always a very interesting read. This story was in the Styles Section....
"Parties Where an ID Is the Least of What You Show" [NY Times, sub. required]-
To gain entry, Anna first had to send an erotic essay and a photo of herself to One Leg Up's founder, a husky-voiced, 33-year-old proselytizer for sexual experimentation who goes by the name Palagia....the younger scene is driven largely by women — many of them erotic-party promoters who use the Internet as both a marketing tool and a screening aid, to keep their crowds enticingly attractive and to keep paying customers coming back....
Here are the four New York City groups mentioned:
It seems blogging like instant messaging is a demarcation line between old fogeydom and the young. NY Times Sunday Magazine article: "My So Called Blog" - In the alternate online universe there exists a shadow suburban high school where confessional girls and emo boys therapeutically reveal all. But even the Web can't make being a teenager any easier. [Note: NY Times articles go behind their subscription wall after 7 days online]
Free Blog Sites used by Teens:
Sunday, January 11, 2004
One of the big time A-List bloggers in the blogosphere is Ito Joi. Thousands hang on his every posting. Johnsville should be so lucky. Just type "Ito Joi" into google. He even has a separate blog for "the stuff that I have, why I have it, and how I feel about it." But he still needs to clear up some misconceptions:
"Many people seem to think I'm a woman because my name is rather gender neutral if not feminine. I am a short, straight, 37-year-old, Japanese guy who lives in Japan."
No one in the world is more keenly aware of the catastrophic impact of global warming than the 11,000 people of Tuval. The highest point on one of the world's lowest-lying countries consisting of nine coral atolls in the south Pacific stands just five meters above sea level, which is rising at a level fast enough to prompt the Tuvaluan government to consider relocating its entire population.
"We have no other choice," remarked Prime Minister Saufatu Sopoanga of Tuvalu, of the evacuation plan.
Tuvalu, you may know, is the source for the ".tv" domain, which evidently generates US$ 2.2 million in revenue for the country's 11,000 inhabitants.
Boingboing cites the Clay Shirky Modern Soul Mate Theory piece to "Solve Dating Manifesto." Link
1. Modern Soulmate Theory is based on math and probability calculations.
2. It has nothing to do with reincarnation, astrology, or magic.
3. Soulmates are not destined to be with each other.
4. God may have made a soulmate or a few soulmates for you. God may help you find your soulmate or He may not. Evil forces or your own free will may influence you to choose the wrong person.
5. You may have one or millions of soulmates depending on how different you are from the population mean.
6. Statistically, there is at least one person in this world that will bring you true love, a love that will last a lifetime.
Ask-An-Iman is questioned: Is it true that Woman has been created from the curved Rib of Man, and hence the nature?
Answer: ...Women, having been created from a rib and have a degree of imbalance in their nature...Women have a common trait of being ungrateful of their husband and of being hasty in cursing those that hurt their feelings...The husband is advised that in view of the wife’s imbalanced nature, he should be patient and accept her as she is...
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Ask-An-Iman has Answer #10617 for this one:
1. According to the Shari’ah, it is permissible to marry one’s first cousin. The parents of all non-healthy and disabled children are not cousins unto one another.
2. It is not permissible to have any kind of pre-marital relationship. Any act or attitude, for example, liking, loving, etc. that may lead to a pre-marital relationship is Haraam (strictly prohibited).
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Friday, January 9, 2004
and exiles him from "John's Web Log" at johnsville.blogspot.com. John was signed up for this web log a week ago; inspired by the article- "How To Give The Last-Minute Gift of Blog" by Biz Stone on the Blogger home page.
A couple of invitations (home & work) were sent to John as directed by the instructions in the article. John apparently has been on vacation, or has simply been ignoring the good citzens of Johnsville. He has been an absent Blog Lord. He hasn't shown any interest in the great industry the citizens have shown in building this unique little blog at Johnsville. Therefore it is with a sad heart the good citizens of Johnsville.blogspot.com must issue the following "Declaration of Blogging Independence".
When in the course of human blogging, it becomes necessary for the bloggers to dissolve the administrative bands which have connected them with another, and to assume the full powers of the Blogspot, the separate and equal station to which the End User License Agreement of Blogger entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of the blogosphere requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.[...] To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
i. He (John) is really not very funny.
ii. His adventures are not that exciting.
iii. He doesn't know how to blog.
iv. Even if he could blog he doesn't have much to say.
We therefore publish and declare that John has been exiled from John's Web Log. This blog will hence forth be known as "the johnsville news" at johnsville.blogspot.com.
AVN reports: "Digital Sin will host superstar rapper 50 Cent at its booth this Saturday at the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo in Las Vegas, where it will officially announce he has signed an exclusive deal to create an interactive sex DVD bearing his name."
"Digital Sin will collaborate with 50 Cent and G-Unit Adult Films to produce Groupie Luv, which will take viewers inside his X-rated lifestyle."
50 cent also has a sneaker deal with Reebok. Is this another example of the "porn will become the norm" trend? I wonder what Reebok thinks of this? Hey Mom, if I get G-Unit's can I be a porn star like 50 Cent? Our personal choice for urban footwear: Hush Puppies. We like to walk old school doggy style.
Nick Denton (nickdenton.org) the creator of a number of commercial blogging sites (Gawker, Gizmodo, Fleshbot, etc) got a scoop on his Gawker site, when they posted details about the confidential Martha Stewart jury selection questionnaire. Yes, the citizens of Johnsville read and enjoy the Gawker gossip roundup.
Thursday, January 8, 2004
"There are several rites of passage every parent must go through...
You generally only have time between “Oops.” and “Wham!” to protect one person from falling...So if you’re reading this to find good reasons not to have kids, that’s a good one right there. They sprain you."
He also has some advice on beginning socialization skills:
"...the two most important lessons for dealing with other humans:
i. Crush the weak.
ii. Submit to the strong."
John Robb is Freethinking. "I still love the idea of the US going from a population of 290 m to well over 500 m in the next 15 years using a work-to-citizenship program. Imagine bringing 210 m of the most motivated, intelligent, and capable people in the world to the US (regardless of proximity to US borders)...."
I think I want my car to glow like a coral pink flying saucer. Seeing me behind the wheel at night will be like meeting an ET who's spaceship got the Fab 5 QueerEye treatment. Streetglow has these neon under car kits and license plate lights that can make my dream come true. Jason of Bethel, CT, and his Dodge Ram won the 2003 Glow-off in Boston. He better watch out this year.
Ay yo trip my peeps, I ain't set tripping yet, but slow your roll!
Wednesday, January 7, 2004
25 WAYS TO TELL YOU'RE WHITE TRASH. A low score is better...
19 Things every kid should learn. I'll add good manners as number 20.
Turns out Dave Berry has a blog right next to me here at blogspot. I'll have to tell him to keep the noise down. I notice he has a site meter on his blog that counts visits (now over 1.8 million). I don't think I want to know yet how many people are not visiting my blog. But I will add him to my perma links... maybe he'll link back to me? (Yeah right!)
Tattoo troubles. Courtesy Sky News. They'll only take my tattoo by scraping it off my cold dead butt...
Cavalcade of Capitalists Starts off with "Greed is Good; Profit", what did you expect...
Bush in 30 secounds (political advertising contest) is down to the 15 finalists.
Still More George W. Bushisms: "Neither in French nor in English nor in Mexican" by George W. Bush (Editor), Al Franken, Jacob Weisberg. Published in Nov '03. Al Franken has a cottage industry going with his satire of George W. and the right. Some examples of Bushisms:
"There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again."
"There's only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like."
"I'm the master of low expectations."
"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."
Tuesday, January 6, 2004
Faith Popcorn a future pundit made her 04 predictions. She anticipates 2004 to be a year in which technology -- already a deeply embedded part of our lives -- finds new expression....and...As the media continue to push the limits of what's acceptable and technology facilitates our immediate gratification, porn will become the norm. How did her predictions for last year pan out?
[Faith Popcorn's Top Trends Predictions for 2003]
An Arizona cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"
The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!"
The cowboy, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation down here! Bring me an order!"
The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy!"
The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and then, that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!"
The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."
Friday, January 2, 2004
In lieu of my traditional holiday newsletter-the one that I used to send out during the holidays and then let slip into February and then into Spring, and then just stopped sending out all together. Now why did I call it a tradition? Anyway, um..um..from now on I will be issuing all my wisdom and my continuing cavalcade of escapades via a newfangled thing called a web log or blog. Thus empowering all my friends and family to ignore me should they so choose by simply not visiting my blog. I'm working on a big assumption that my friends and family all have computers and know now to type? But ignoring me will unleash the boiling venom and caustic negativity that poisons my soul...no just kidding.. actually your life will just be that much poorer for not having enjoyed my company. So grab a warm mouse and let's begin the journey.
Update: A more detailed description of "What makes a Weblog a Weblog"